My advice to a potential Pastor’s Wife

The other day I was contacted  by a friend on Facebook with the following message (names have been taken out to keep her privacy):

“So I was wondering if you may be able to help me out… I am after some advice on dating a pastor and potentially becoming a pastor’s wife haha. I happened to see RANDOM NEGATIVE NANCY EX-PASTOR GUY (name clearly removed) and he found out that I was dating a pastor and didn’t have anything positive to say about it which left me feeling quite unsure and discouraged. I was just wanting to know what your thoughts are on it and to see if it’s really as ‘bad’ as he was saying!”

This was the response I sent to her yesterday:

1. People who have had a negative experience will always expect everyone else’s experience to be the same as theirs – this is not true. This, in fact, is completely unfair and selfish to fling that expectation on you. You can choose to be happy and have an amazing experience.

2. Each “Pastor’s Wife/Pastor’s Girlfriend” is different to the next. Their level of social maturity, their commitment to their relationship, their spiritual growth and journey is so different from the next girl/woman. We cannot be expected to fit the same mould – I struggled with this BIG time in my first year of marriage.

3. God will not ever put you in a situation that He hasn’t equipped you to handle. This includes, pressure from friends, family, church members etc.

4. In the Bible, it says that we as Christians are called to ministers because we “believe”. Simply, some of us have Pr in front of our name and some of us don’t. We all have the same calling, it just looks different and comes in different packages.

5. Communication is key. If you are looking at going down the engagement path, I would encourage you to start having chats about expectations etc. Ask yourselves questions like

“What would it be like if…”

“What would you expect of me if…”

“How would you feel supported if we did this…”

I always said to Richie that our church should offer “Pre-Engagement Counselling”. I really wanted it before we got engaged, but we had some excellent “Pre-marital counselling” before we got married and it gave us incredible opportunities to talk about things we had never addressed (the unspoken stuff), or even were aware we needed to address.

6. There needs to be a level of independence in a Pastor’s Wife. I have some friends who can’t handle having a night where their husband is out or away. Try not seeing him for a week when he goes on school camp or even overseas to a speaking engagement. Potentially you will find yourself alone and you need to be comfortable with that. You will need to be able to make decisions and also have the confidence to release him to do the job he has been called to.

Finally…

I love being a Pastor’s Wife, it is exciting, adventurous, and unpredictable.

I learnt quickly that it does not define me as a person, it is simply one of my many roles in life which God has called me to.

The Bible Garden – Palm Beach, NSW, Australia

I have a confession to make.

When I found this gorgeous little garden hidden in Palm Beach last Sunday, I was actually on a mission to find the house that The Bachelor is being filmed at.

I know, I know… *hangs head*

Last Sunday after my epic planning weekend with the other ladies from the GSC Women’s Ministries at Kurrajong Heights, Richie took me on a Sunday afternoon drive up to the Northern Beaches. At first I was a Negative Nancy thinking it was too far to go, then I realised two things:

1. In 2 months time I’m racing from Palm Beach to Manly – 35km’s to raise money and awareness for MITO -  I needed to visualise where I would be racing. You can sponsor me here - even if it is just $10 :)

2. I wanted to go see if we could find the house The Bachelor is filmed at. For no real reason at all except to see if it is in the place I imagine it is overlooking Pittwater.

After cruising up to Palm Beach with hit up some of the high roads and as I followed on Google Maps, “The Bible Garden” jumped out as a point of interest.

This is what we found…

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Stunning right?

First thing I thought “Best place for a garden wedding EVER!” The girl on the right hand size at top of the steps with the boy staring up at her seemed to be in full planning mode.

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What a legacy the Robinson family have left - a ministry which will never end.

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For more details on this treasure you can visit their website here

Friday Nights are the best

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Friday nights are really special to us and these days, it is very rare to “have a quiet one” at home. In more cases than not, we are hanging out with our Wahroonga Teens, or at Super Fridayz, or at One Way, or at Live@TheChapel or at Soul Sisters.

It is a busy and full life, but we love it.

Last night we got to hang out with these legends and it was so much fun.

We picked up 29 of the crew and headed down to the beach for an early dinner before Sabbath. Some of our teens invited friends from school to come along and it is incredible to see our group multiple each time we hang.

As I stood and chatted with some of the Mum’s before leaving, I got to be front row eye-witness to a big first-time introduction: “Mum, this is my girlfriend…”.

It was so awesome!

This is the life.

Serving. Hanging. Eating. Loving.

Father’s Day 2013

It’s exactly a week ago we celebrated Fathers Day with brunch here at our home. We had a great day together and also enjoyed having our friends Jenny and Bruce with us as well.

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This year Vanessa and I gave Dad a gift that keeps on giving thanks to ADRA.

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We also headed up to the most awesome Muogamarra Nature Reserve, a bushland reserve near Cowan, which is only opened for 6 weeknds of the year when the native wildflowers are in bloom. It’s the type of place our Aunty Shirley would love.

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I had never seen a bush of Waratahs in flower until now.

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We hope you had a great Father’s Day, Dad. It was awesome to spend the day as a family out in the bush. Xo

Boxing Day Shenanigans

Today I was fortunate to be driven to the Boxing Day Sales at DFO a.k.a. a husbands worst nightmare.

Originally we were heading there to buy a pair of sunnies for me which really would have only taken 20mins but there were some winning sales… so our spree took a little longer. A couple of hours later we took our purchasers to the car and shot through. Our loot included 3 pairs of sunnies for under $100 for me, a pair of sunnies for Richie, 50% off Sheridan quilt cover and fitted sheets, Wittner ballet flats, a Berlei bra, Mimco beanie-hat thing for Chicago… and I think that’s the lot. We didn’t really get each other Chritmas presents so this was it without the trimungs and at 50% off!

Afterwards we decided to keep the ball rolling so we headed to Westfield Chermside, on the north side of Brisbane. After we parked the car, I made a bet with Richie that we would end up bumping into 5 people he knew. “Nah Bec, we’re not at Mt Gravatt.” We saw 2 people we knew.

Again the sales were awesome and I was able to pick up a few half-price running shirts and a 2XU running visor.

It was a winner of a day!

Richie snuck off to Timezone for a while to play pinball while I finished with the last few shops. It was great to beat him at Daytona USA when he thought he would totally smash me :)

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Once the shops started closing up we headed up to the camp ground where the World Changers Youth Congress is to be held. This will be our home for the next few weeks.

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So far there are about 80 staff there and come New Years Day, there will be about 1600 youth from around the South Pacific Division who will be staying onsite.

Can you pray for us as a staff that the set-up will go smoothly, and we will all stay safe. Also we ask that you pray for for the delegates who are coming, that the Holy Spirit begin to work on their hearts and minds, so that their relationship with Jesus will be deepened.

Rocking out at the Casting Crowns Concert

I wrote this post this afternoon on the flight

It’s hard to pin point why, but I haven’t been my blogging self over the last two weeks or so. If you are a regular, you would have noticed that I’ve now missed two Wednesday Words and haven’t blogged for the last 10 days. Truth is, I just haven’t felt like I’ve been in the mood to share. It could be because Richie has been away a lot and I’ve been a bit bummed. Maybe it’s because I’ve lost the habit? Maybe I haven’t had much to say…

Well, I’m breaking whatever it is and throwing up a post here and now. I’m sitting on a flight to Brisbane while I write thinking about how wonderful it was that I got to rock out with my sister last night at the Casting Crowns concert. I think she might be their biggest groupie. It was also cool that Mum and Dad were able to come.

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I’ve made this last picture my iPhone wallpaper – I love it.

Karalundi Camp, WA

I started writing this in the car last week before we lost reception for 4 days, just a short time out of Perth. Little did I know we were off on an adventure of a life time. After driving home through the night, we fell into bed at 4:15am this morning. The exhaustion has hit just in time for our looooong flight home. There will be plenty of blogging in the coming days.

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We’re on the road again!

It was about this time last week I found out we were going on another little road trip. This time we were headed to WA.

Right now we are on the Great Northern Highway headed out of Perth to Meekatharra. The signs say its about 700KM from where we are.

We are in convoy with our friends Pr Darren, Cathy, Nana Coral and the kids. Plus we have a couple of Mamarapha College girls riding in the car with us.

I can’t wait to see the Western Desert and all the wildflowers.

Tiles, tiles & more tiles

On our European Adventure I’ve enjoyed finding interesting wall and floor tiles. The UK and Europe is full of them. Australia? Not so much.

Below are some of my favorites to date:

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Wall tiles – Some Underground Station, London

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Wall tiles – Champs De Mars Metro Station, Paris

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20110722-110847.jpg Wall tiles – Charles de Gauelle-Etoille Metro Station, Paris

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Wall tiles – Eiffel Tower toilettes (top floor), Paris

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Floor tiles – Brasserie des Deux Palais, Paris

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Floor tiles – Rue du Debarcadere, Paris

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I heart Sabbath

This is the attitude in our house when Sabbath comes in…

Courtesy of netta

If it’s not done by sunset Friday, it can wait till after Sabbath on Saturday night.

It’s my guilt free day off and it’s God’s gift to me and I aint gonna waste it.

One of the many reasons I heart Sabbath.

On the running sheet for this weekend:

  • Dinner at the Parentals, minus John Pye – he’s somewhere in the Never Never of the Northern Territory bush walking with National Parks & Wildlife.
  • Maybe a little trail run or jalk (jog-slash-walk) down the Jungo before church with MP & VP
  • Church K-Ville style with Pot luck lunch – always a winner.
  • E-man’s (Emmett) 1st B’day Bonanza at W-Gah – this time last year we were on the road to Atlanta for the General Conference. The day this little nugget was born Clare woke us up with the news when we were staying here at the Marshall House in Savannah, Georgia.

Happy Sabbath people – Hope you have a great weekend.

stealing a post! (via kshizzl)

My friend KShiz aka Aunty Karyn wrote a great blog post today/yday and I’m stealing it.

Hope you like it.

Subscribe to her blog – you will find it to be raw, gritty, honest blogging… it’s a great read.

Coo-eee Aunty.

So my friend Bec – got me into this whole blogging business. You can check out her blog over at Adventures of a Pastor's Wife. I love that I get to see a little snapshot in their lives – and to feel like I am part of their adventures, especially as Bec & Rich live ALL THAT WAY down in Sydney… Anyway – Bec posted today and I just love the topic. You should go check her out: Wednesday Words to Live By – 2 Corinthians 4:9 I love the image … Read More

via kshizzl

Who has come to Sabbath School?

These photos were taken last Sabbath in Cradle Roll Sabbath School. The video on Richie’s Facebook go alongside, so if you haven’t watched his vid, go check it out. It’s super cute and Tennesse says my name too.

We absolutely loved it! Tennesse and the other kids love it too. Richie got a little teary at one point – but don’t tell anyone, ok?

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Guess where we are?

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Let me set the scene for you…

I’m squashed between Bronny & Richie at Avondale College Church.

If you were a nana, you would know who Ernie Haase & Signature Sound. I had no idea who they were till I married Richie. You see I grew up on Hillsong, Richie grew up on Gaither.

Anyway we are at their concert and yes, I’m blogging!!! Hahah

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